FLAME and Active Listening

• FLAME.pdf: FLAME Protocol

Active Listening

• Listen first (you must earn the right to be heard)
  • This is what Rangers do
• Use reflection
  • Repeat back exactly what is said, especially with upset participants
• Use restatement
  • Repeat what you believe the participant said in your own words
  • Gives participant chance to correct if necessary
  • Gives feeling of being heard (demonstrate active listing)
• Tips for Active listing
  • Write down what participants say
  • Slows them down (so you can get all down)
  • Has calming effect (be careful, some folks percieve this as “coplike”, be aware, and sensitive.)
• Don't contradict if possible
  • Use “Yes, and…” (Not “yes, but…) (Demonstrate.)
  • “But’s” negate what you just said. (I love you, but…)
• Never say "Calm down" use actions to calm

Trigger Issues

What sets YOU off

• Be aware of your trigger issues
  • Words "stupid" "pig" "Bitch"
  • Actions. Seeing something that bothers you.
  • Resemblance reminds you of other situations
• Recognize the feeling even when you don't recognize the cause
• Anger makes you ineffective as a Ranger
• Step away defer to partner
• Recognize anger in your partner, take over discretely
• Take care of your partner

-- AnarchistU - 25 May 2006